Think I've been going about labor and employees all wrong after stepping on the scales this morning. Changing up my hiring format from here on out : trial run below.
Fat? Porky? Overweight? Can't see your toes anymore? Are you a dough boy / girl, but instead want to be muscular and fit?
Don't have the willpower to work out unless a " coach " directs you in what to do?
Want to eat as much as you can possibly stuff in your face in your free time and still lose weight? ( *spare time disappears with the implementation of my weight loss boot camp, weight loss is contingent on this factor*).
For the low, Low, LOW cost of $25 a day, you can begin the process to a new you with Dirty Deeds Lawn & Landscaping service's weight loss and strength training boot camp!
Guaranteed results, or your money back!
For the low cost of $25 a day, we will provide you transportation to a continuously ever changing work out environment. No dull, boring gym.
You get to meet new people and make new friends.
We will provide all the needed strength training equipment such as a wheelbarrow and as many bags of mulch as you can carry. Holding hedgers at chest height for hours at a time will build your upper body strength. You will be able to do pull ups before you know it!
As you interact with each new environment we take you to, you will gain muscle and definition in your butt and legs from all the squats you will perform over and over again as you pick up trash and debris. To further build butt muscle ( everyone loves a firm booty ) you will be issued your own push mower!
If you call between now and June 1st, we will give you free clothes to work out in ( uniform ) as well as a Dirty Deeds hat! What a deal
Begin your journey to a new you with Dirty Deeds Lawn & Landscaping service's weight loss and strength training boot camp.